EMERGENCY NEWSLETTER: Super Mariber Bros.

It remains amazing that this newsletter is free

Thank you for your patience this week, friends. The Newsletter was on a quick jaunt to Arizona to confirm the following:

-Gregory Santos exists
-Jorge Polanco at 3B is exactly what you think it is
-The first sip of a cold one on the lawn in 72 degree weather is as good of evidence for the divine as I am aware of

Originally this was going to be a short missive to recap that experience and pave the way for OPENING DAY, however those plans were given a sharp 90 degree, e-brake-assisted left turn with the Mariners announcing their first ever jersey patch.

There will be plenty of commentary regarding the various elements in play with an announcement such as this. We here at Light Bat HQ will leave the aesthetic and financial implications of slapping a loud red patch on a Northwest Green sleeve to wiser, more artistic voices. For our purposes the best summary for any and all such endeavors is and will probably always be….go biz.

Go Biz.

More importantly - and what jolted us upright in our chair with a swiftness and ferocity that left various discs of our lower lumbar shrieking like banshees - this partnership allows us to classify Seattle Mariners (and the extended Seattle Mariners Galaxy of Stars) as Nintendo Characters. Let us begin:

Luke Raley

Donovan Solano

Mitch Haniger

Logan Gilbert

Andres Munoz

Victor Robles

Emerson Hancock

Julio

Jerry Dipoto

Gregory Santos

Bryce Miller

J.P. Crawford

Cal Raleigh

Dom Canzone

Miles Mastrobuoni

George Kirby

Dylan Moore

Ryan Bliss

Luis Castillo

Matt Brash

Bryan Woo

Rowdy Tellez

Tyler Locklear

Randy Arozarena

Jorge Polanco

Seattle Times Beat Writer Ryan Divish

Gabe Speier

Taylor Saucedo

Mitch Garver

You The Fan

Thank you for reading this very important Light Bat newsletter. There will be a quick turnaround tomorrow as we preview the Mariners’ amazing starting rotation and then we’re pressing on to next week, where the promise/threat of 162 Seattle Mariners games will begin to be fulfilled.

Have a great Thursday!