It’s Friday! In the last decade or so there has been a slow but steady uptick in Fridays that feel like arriving at the end scene of a Saw movie, as we’re forced to navigate intricately-devised, diabolical torture devices that exist solely for the masochistic joy of our captors. I’d put this Friday in the top five of that particular category!
Just a quick bit of advice and encouragement: You’re doing great, dear reader. I strongly recommend you find a way to be outside the next 48 hours if at all possible. I just walked my dog while listening to music (the excellent new Charley Crockett album) as the sun rose over the Cascade mountain range, and felt life returning to my largely husked-out body. As things get seemingly ever-more arduous and challenging the people and things we love will continue to be ever-more important. Let yourselves enjoy them.
In completely unrelated news, let’s get to the Seattle Mariners and etc.
The Week That Was
Detroit 9 - Seattle 6 (Monday)
The Mariner Pitching Factory is the lodestone upon which this team rests, of that there is no debate. The team’s ability to essentially 3D print upper-mid-rotation starters the past few seasons is unprecedented in team history, and has given them their largest baked-in advantage on the field since they were running out literally Ken Griffey Jr., Alex Rodriguez, Edgar Martinez, and Randy Johnson.
Additionally, Emerson Hancock couldn’t make it out of the first inning Monday. After the game he was immediately sent down to AAA Tacoma. Until George Kirby is back at full strength (something like 3-5 weeks away, from reports) the team is going to be absolutely scrambling to fill out its rotation as the farm simply does not have a suitable replacement.
The Mariners are excellent at developing pitching. Additionally, there’s at least a decent chance we look back on this rotation and its development as a once-in-a-generation combination of skill and good fortune.
Detroit 4 - Seattle 1 (Tuesday)
You can’t go losing games with your ace on the hill, I scream at my television set in the middle of a nice family dinner. Logan Gilbert blinked a few times early-on, and the Mariners’ bats - knowing their role in this script - were utterly helpless. You’ve seen this game a million times, but with literally Tarik Skubal on deck this loss felt especially frustrating.
Seattle 3 - Detroit 2 (Wednesday)
Lol and, in the interest of full disclosure, lmao. The Mariners scored a few runs off of Skubal thanks in large part to Colt Keith forgetting the rules of the sport, Luis Castillo absolutely shoved for seven innings, and the Mariners won against easily the best starting pitcher they’ve faced thus far. Baseball is the stupidest sport in the world (complimentary).
Working for the Weekend
Seattle @ San Francisco
Friday - Luis F. Castillo Vs. Justin Verlander
Saturday - Bryce Miller Vs. Robbie Ray
Sunday - Bryan Woo Vs. Jordan Hicks
-A rare circumstance in the first game of this series as the Mariners face a decided, notable starting pitching disadvantage. Justin Verlander is so old he and I can talk Cabbage Patch Kids, but Luis F. Castillo is not a major league starting pitcher.
-We’re going to push for the next game to be referred to as “Schadenfreude Schaturday” but I admit the title needs work. Regardless, Robbie Ray - who is a perfectly fine major league starting pitcher - will face the team that traded him for 2026 salary relief. As is reflected in much of our current daily life, whenever someone does something obviously dumb and bad with the promise of making things better in the future, be highly skeptical.
-All in all the Giants are a pesky little team. They don’t have upper-tier elite hitters anywhere, but also don’t have a ton of holes. The Mariners will be hard-pressed to win this series and - with division rivals Houston and Texas looming next week - they need to start winning some series.
The 2025 Mariners Need New Bits
The Trident Home Run Prop began in April, 2023. It was part of a larger groundswell as MLB players sought ways to inject some fun and personality into the league. It was great and enjoyable…..for awhile. Now? The Trident prop serves as one of the major central marketing points for the team. Watching MLB Network? You’ll invariably see a brief Mariners’ hype video capped with a jubilant Julio Rodriguez hoisting the trident.
I adore the silly nonsense baseball players come up with to make the eternal baseball season enjoyable for themselves, but the second marketing and/or the league at large start featuring it in advertisements it ceases to be organic and is now part of the product being sold to me, and I don’t enjoy that.
The oversaturation continues in the trident’s deployment during games. Because of how these things work it’s not enough to celebrate big home runs with it, now every home run requires the player to hold it and face the camera. This is how you get the image above, in which Randy Arozarena is carrying the trident around in the dugout after a solo home run brings his team to within five runs. This is what happens when tradition and branding overrule common sense, and while that can at times be darkly humorous, I also think it’s fairly embarrassing.
Every baseball season is unique, and every clubhouse and locker room is unique. The joyful, spontaneous nature of the Home Run Trident has long worn off and become yet another gaudy but essentially pointless accoutrement to The Seattle Mariners Experience. If the guys on the team love it and it still gives them joy to flash it out every time they go deep? Then be my guest. Baseball players should get to celebrate how they want to. But as a fan the experience has been too co-opted into an ever-present brand item; it’s not a celebration, it’s a product. And that’s where it stops working for me.
I would like to see the 2025 Mariner get away from both the Home Run Trident and the infield victory dance. Both are years-old, played out, and in my opinion keep this year’s team from finding unique, playful, and enjoyable ways to tell their own unique story. Sorry for yelling at the clouds.
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A lighter newsletter today, and my apologies for that. Some real world demands are keeping me busy. Thanks so much as always for reading. A reminder that The Blight Bat Podcast debuted this week, You can find it here, and basically anywhere you get your podcasts. Thanks to all of you who listened and voiced your support. Have a fabulous weekend and we’ll talk more on Tuesday. Goms!
I signed up for the paid version of this enterprise upon reading the call to lose the infield victory dance. Thank you for your service, Mr. Bishop.